April 9.  It's 12:26 am.  I actually am not sure why I am still awake, but yet I am thankful for the silence.  Thankful for a moment to think and relax and let myself be still. 

Life has been rather uneventful.  Today I did find an adorable consignment store that sells all kind of vintage things and unique fun for gifts/decorating etc.  That was fun. 

I also had the kids with me as we did errands, because we are getting ready for Matthews first birthday party! 
I can hardly believe that my baby will be 1.  That 1 year has gone by so quickly. . I can't believe how much I have changed throughout this entire year... I went from working and so so busy, pregnant and happy.  Then my beautiful boy was whisked away from me and placed into the NICU.  I remember feeling so helpless.  I didn't want to believe there was anything wrong.  I couldn't believe it.  They would tell me my baby was sick and I would think, "No he's not, and you need to just send him home to me".   I was actually upset that he was still there.  Now that I look back, I am so very grateful for everyone of the doctors and nurses that spent time with our boy.  So very grateful that they saved his life, and found that he had Hirshsprungs.  So grateful that everything was resolved from the breathing, etc when he was born. 

God has been so present from the moment we needed him most.  Today, as before, I bow at His feet and ask for strength to get through each day and every trial.  I also keep asking for complete healing for Matthew.  Lord, is it really your will that he should suffer?  And not have a working intestine?  And Have to go through surgery?   But in the words of my saviour...  "Not my will, but yours be done" 

Amy